Two Floors Above Grief: A Memoir of Two Families in the Unique Place We Called Home by Kevin M. O'Connor

 

Book Details:

​Book Title:  Two Floors Above Grief: A Memoir of Two Families in the Unique Place We Called Home by Kevin M. O'Connor
Category:  Adult Non-Fiction (18+),  318 pages
Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir
Publisher:  18th Floor Publishing
Release date:  November  2022
Formats Available for Review: print-softback (USA only), ebook (Gifted Kindle)
Tour dates: Feb 6 to Feb 24, 2023
Content Rating:  PG for two languages use and use of F-word.   

Book Description:

As a child in the 1950s, Kevin O’Connor knew his house was different than those of his friends. A stately, three-story, nineteenth century Victorian. His bed tucked next to a stage in a former ballroom. His uncle and aunt lived with their three daughters on the floor below. A large electric organ stood stately in a corner of the first-floor mortuary business. Stacked caskets and an embalming room filled the basement.

Nobody had a house like his.

​Set from the 1920s to ‘80s, Two Floors Above Grief is full of fascinating details and anecdotes about his upbringing as a funeral home child, brought to vivid life through a compelling collection of letters written by various family members who lived and worked together at the O’Connor Funeral Home in Elgin, Illinois. Blending the twenty-four-hour business of death and its constantly ringing phone with joy experienced through music, radios, pets, backyard basketball games, co-parenting, faith, and celebrations, O’Connor offers a reflective tale affirming the love of family and embracing life.

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Meet the Author:

Kevin O’Connor enjoys chronicling the stories of families and friends through tracing genealogical histories and writing. His prior writing includes a dissertation, personal letters, articles, anthologies, and presentations delivered at conferences, seminars, and webinars. He brings people together personally and professionally. Collaborating with friends and relatives, he plans family and class reunions.

He sings and performs in theaters and is active with SMART Ride, a bicycling group that rides annually from Miami to Key West, raising funds for HIV awareness, treatment, and education. Kevin was an elementary teacher, principal, professor, and curriculum coordinator in California, Illinois, and Florida from 1973 to 2020. He authored content and provided training in areas including support for substitute teachers, LGBTQ advocacy, and Sexual Health/Family Life.

Kevin resides in Ft. Lauderdale with his husband, Leon. Their family includes five sons and seven granddaughters.

connect with the author: website ~ facebook ~ instagram ~ linkedin ~ goodreads 

How did I research Two Floors Above Grief?

 

Many of the stories in the book come from 700 pages of letters saved by my parents and me. I

organized 270 tabbed, dated entries in clear plastic sleeves ordered sequentially in four three-ring

notebooks. The gathered texts were handwritten or typed on materials, including stationary from

the family business, letterhead from Mom’s places of work, tablets of paper, backsides of theater

programs, typing paper, half sheets of notes sent by others, aerograms, postcards, and greeting

cards. Aunt Mildred used the notepads from the Royal Garment Company, the provider of a

selection of dresses for deceased females to wear at their “showings.” I maintain mental

snapshots of these letter writers sitting at desks and kitchen or dining room tables to reveal their

penmanship or press the keys of manual and, later, electric typewriters.

I also used newspaper accounts and articles about artifacts mentioned in the book, the house

pictured on the front cover, and aspects of history that include US Presidents, WWII, the JFK

assassination, and Vietnam War student protests.

 

Which was the hardest character to write?  The easiest?

Since Two Floors Above Grief is a memoir, I knew most of the characters well. The character

most difficult to write about was Lawrence O’Connor. I did not have as many written resources

from him that authenticated his character. The easiest character to write about was Lawrence’s

wife, Mildred O’Connor.  The letters written by her conveyed a character that was full of care

and humor. Reading her writing and translating that into her story sometimes made me laugh.

Also the information I had and experienced with her covered the years from 1950, when I was

born, until 1971, when she died.  The other main characters of the book lived much longer. I had

more material about them. Hence, what I knew about Mildred was more confined.

 

In the book, I make a reference to pigeons. How did I come up with this idea?

The book's setting is primarily a three-story Victorian house built in 1886.  Pigeons enjoyed

perching themselves on the roof lines and gutters of the house. They could be a nuisance because

they indiscreetly left their droppings on the driveway and the cars parked outside the house. My

Uncle Lawrence was protective of his property and the vehicles of those coming to the funeral

home for services. I write about Lawrence using a bb gun to shoot at the pigeons. I think the

written account provides a glimpse into Lawrence’s character.

 

What made me write a book about growing up as a child living in apartments above a

funeral home business?

I wrote the book because I have a story about growing up that, while common in some ways to

others, is different and individual.   There are other books about funeral homes and the families

that inhabit the living spaces that are part of the business. My stories are about two families and

how we wove our individual families into one. I wanted to let readers know how the

personalities of the ten individuals who lived Two Floors Above Grief wove themselves together

in cohesive, lasting relationships.

 

Where did I get inspiration for my stories?

My inspiration comes from lived experiences. When I was a child living in the funeral home

environment, I didn’t often contemplate that my arrangement was so different. It was all I knew.

As I grew older and developed friendships and relationships throughout my life, I came to a

stronger sense of appreciation for the individuality of my upbringing. I wanted to share those

stories with others.

 

There are many books about funeral homes, family relationships, and the strength of parent-to-

child bonds.  Two Floors Above Grief  is different because most funeral home family residences

are about one family.  The stories are about what it took to have two sets of parents raising

children born over a span of twenty years. The daughters of the second floor and the sons of the

third floor were cousins.  Yet, they were raised as sisters and brothers. The book explains how

that occurred. Two autonomous families worked together in such a way to create one family

from two. It took some effort.  The positive effects of the relationships continue to thrive 90

years after the oldest child's birth.

 

What advice would I give to budding writers?

Open yourself up to telling your story, whether it is a memoir based on actual events or a novel

with characters and settings that come from the imagination.  There is no limit to stories to tell. If

you want to write your story or stories, seek assistance from others who can help you get started

and carry out the writing process. Writing can be quite solitary. Yet, the camaraderie and support

of writing instructors and others who were writing their stories propelled me through my writing

drafts, editing, and publishing.  Keep writing. Keep sharing your stories. Keep open to the ideas

of others.